how dumb can you get!!!!

Well, that's a question i ask myself quite often these days. In fact that's the most frequent question i get from my friends for almost 3 years now. There's got to be something seriously wrong with me. A normal person doesn't do this to herself for the 100th time!

Ok here's what happened: You know when you love someone, he's like the most important thing in the world. You care about him a lot, you put his feelings before yours. You think about him all the time, you wanna be with him all the time. You see him, you smile. You don't see him, you cry. Bla, bla.. And then there comes the time you see you can't even agree to disagree. You keep taking his crap and he keeps fucking things up. He leaves, he comes back and then he leaves again but only to come back again. You take him back every single time hoping that this time he's different, this time he'll treat you right and everything but no, you're a fool. You decide it's over. You're left with your heart broken. You know what it's like, you're devistated and all. Time passes by, you feel like you can forget and start all over but noooo. Of course he comes back again. He says he needs you, he wants you by his side but he gives you nothing in return. You know you can't trust him again. You know he'll leave again. But as i said..you're a fool. You take him back. You care about him, you can't just leave him, not when he says he needs you, no. You start seeing him again, he's an important part of your life again. You remember what it was like to be with him but you only remember the good days and you block out the rest. You ignore what your friends tell you, you ignore what your own mind tells you. Something in your brain whispers he's gonna leave you again but you ignore that too. Come on girl, honestly, not listening to your own brain? How dumb can you get? Yeah yeah he's leaving again. So what? Did you really expect that it's going to be different this time? Did you believe he cares about you? Did you think he cares about what you think? Not that it matters but he never even bothered to ask anyway. You know he won't care, you know he won't stay if you ask him to, just like he wouldn't go if you wanted him to. You know he doesn't give a fuck about what you feel and you're still here writing about him. Stupid, stupid girl..

Yes i guess that's about it. So there's what happened. Sometimes the ugly fucking truth hits you in the face so hard that you can't even breath. But when you start breathing again, you feel the rage running through your veins and you start writing about it. And when you're done, you start laughing about it and that's what i'm gonna do right about now. LOL

PS: Yes, i'm a little relieved but the feelings are still there. And yes i know that it looks stupid that i wrote this fucking crap in english but it looks so much NICER to say FUCK in english !!